If I have done my math correctly, I believe this is the 7th year in a row Laurie and I have moved one of our boys into college. Each time we help them move in, it seems like it is on the hottest day of the year. But that’s another blog post: August in Tennessee.
Even after all our experience of moving our boys, the stress level around the house still increases. Do we have this item? Do we need to purchase this item? What are we going to do with this item? Then once we have packed it all up, the question arises… have we forgotten anything?
Before you know it, the time has arrived to make the drive. Once you get on campus, you spend the morning getting in the steps you will need for the entire week. You make more trips than you can count from the car to the dorm room. While making the trip, you pass by the other parents doing the same thing. You give the nod and grin to the other parents walking by, which is the proverbial sign, “You understand what’s happening here.”
While Laurie and one of my sons talk about how they want the room to look, I understand my role is to move the bed, dresser, and desk to the desired location. They talk more while I stand anticipating my next assignment, which usually begins with, “Go get this!” or “Hold this here!” or “Put this together!” Eventually, it happens: the room is finished. This is where I always suggest, “How about lunch?” While at lunch, I can predict what is going to happen. It’s time for a Wal-Mart run. After bringing down what feels like the entire belongings of your house, you go and purchase more items because there is always something you forgot.
But this year at move-in day, the thought of what we forgot hit me differently. Maybe it’s the reality that I am getting older. Maybe it’s coming to terms with this being my youngest son, and there are not many of these days left. Or it could be God showing His goodness to me by helping change my perspective? Probably a combination of all the above. But on this move-in day, the forgetfulness didn’t have anything to do with the items for the dorm room. Instead, it had everything to do with not forgetting to create space to engage my son’s heart.
John writes in his gospel, And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. I really appreciate how Eugene Peterson paraphrases this verse in the Message Bible.
The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
the one-of-a-kind glory,
like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
true from start to finish.
When Jesus became flesh and moved into the neighborhood, He was creating opportunities and space to engage with the hearts of others. To create connection with those around Him, Jesus asked over 300 questions in the gospels. It is interesting to think about what Jesus’ objective was in asking questions to those He encountered during His day. The questions Jesus asked reveal He was curious about what was going on with them. Here are some of the questions Jesus asked: “What can I do for you?” “What are you seeking?” or “Who do you say I am?” Questions of curiosity open the door for relationship. And it is in relationship where Jesus tells us where we experience grace and truth.
I haven’t always been the best at asking curiosity questions, especially with my sons. I often lectured when I should have asked questions. But on this hot August move-in day a couple of weeks ago, I remembered that I wasn’t simply there to move items or to buy more stuff. I was there to be with my son. So, I did what I have often forgotten over the years, I sat down on his dorm room bed and asked questions. I asked curious questions about how he was doing and how he was feeling and if he needed anything from me. Nothing magically happened. It was an ordinary day with ordinary responses. But as I got in the car, I was glad I didn’t forget to ask.
As we take time and create space to move into the lives of others, may we follow Jesus model and ask curiosity questions. May God use our questions to open the door for a relationship. You will be glad you did, and so will they!