This past weekend, I found myself sitting in a familiar spot in a high school hallway. The parent of music-loving kids, I have sat through six Midstate auditions in the last four years, and by now, I know the drill. The schools may change, but the routine has become familiar. I’m used to the panicky first few minutes of trying to figure out where an audition room is, and the constant checking of which audition number is up next. I have learned to pack a chair, snacks, lots of water, a book, and a ton of patience for this marathon day, and I know how predictably unpredictable it all is. But one thing I never get used to is the heightened emotion of an intense audition weekend. Each time, it grips my mama heart as I watch kids walk by, vulnerable and raw. Tears. Elation. Disappointment. So much fear. And so much wondering, “Was it good enough?” Maybe even, "Am I enough?”
Whether we realize it or not, we do the same thing. Enough is a defining word for most of us at this time of year. Did I buy enough gifts to fill the stocking? Did I make enough food for the party? Did I do enough for my friends and family? There is so much pressure to do, have, and even be enough, and the pressure is at best a distraction from the things we should be focused on this season. At its worst, this belief that we could do enough is a contradiction to the very truth that Christmas represents: We aren’t enough, we can never be enough, and God sent His Son to do and be what we cannot.
I think for all of us, this need to do – and be – enough comes from a place of longing for love and acceptance. Ironically, that is the very reason Jesus came to earth to be enough! God pursued us because He loves us and wants to be in relationship with us! Luke 19:10 tells us, “For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.” He came to seek us. Not only do we not have to be enough, but we are wanted and loved by the One whose opinion is the only one that matters. There is no greater privilege than to be pursued by the God of the Heaven and Earth, and we don’t have to do anything to earn His love.
There is nothing wrong with putting forth effort to show people we love them, just as there is nothing wrong with kids working hard for an incredible musical opportunity. There are lots of beautiful lessons that can come from a Midstate audition, just as there can be beautiful reminders that come from decorated trees and exchanged gifts. But when we place undue emphasis on the results of our efforts, we undermine the best gift from our Good Father.
This weekend I desperately wanted to take each child by the shoulders, look them square in the eye, and say, “You are not defined by this performance. You are a beloved child of God.” Likewise, I wanted to whisper into the ears of parents, “Speak life. Remind them of Whose they are.” But instead of startling total strangers, I prayed in the hallway for divine moments and for the Lord to work in the hearts of the students and parents that passed by. And do you know what? He did work. He reminded my heart: “Melissa, you are not defined by your performance. You are a beloved child of God.”
He showed me that I am not so different from a teenager, looking for approval and acceptance when I already have it. And He reminded me that we all can be tempted to strive and please, especially at this, the most wonderful time of the year. So today, as we all think about the needless pressures we put on ourselves to do it all perfectly before Christmas day, let us instead choose to resist and rest in His tender care, and to prayerfully and defiantly say...
“Enough.”